National Pancake Day

This is public service announcement.

I want to everyone to be aware of the existence of National Pancake Day, February 23. Why? Two words.

Free pancakes.

That's all that needs to be said to best illustrate how truly awesome Pancake Day is. Mark your calenders in red ink! It's better than about seventy percent of most holidays anyway. No one cares about President's Day, except furniture stores and car dealerships. Screw Arbor's Day, tree-huggers! ...I'm half-kidding, hippies.

If you don't like pancakes, then screw you. Get out of my sight. As long as I never know of your breakfast preferences, we can remain friends, but if you came out of the closet and revealed your dark secret... dun, Dun, DUNNNN... there will be some issues in our friendship. I don't even know if I would look at you the same way if we stayed friends, so I would have to end it most likely due to awkwardness of being in the same room as you. Maybe with time I could learn to accept your different breakfast orientation, but that's time I just don't have. If I did have the time, however, we would be able to remain friends, and the awkward atmosphere between us would vanish in an instant. The world would be one step closer to a better place...

Oh, and if you haven't gotten it yet, I'm parodying a friend with no definite stance towards homosexuality who finds out one of his/her good friends of the same gender is gay and his/her possible reactions to his/her friend's coming out of the closet. Also, I have nothing against homosexuality, just pancake haters.

They need to stop breathing the same air as me and die already, and the world would be one step closer to a better place... Yes, I see the irony. Do I care? Obviously not at this point.